Success Story: An Amazing Journey to Sobriety

While we were dating, I kept the quantity of my alcohol and most of my substance use a secret from her. In one life I was the good student and boyfriend turned fiancé, and in the other I was the unfaithful drunk pothead. When she would catch me getting high, she would be irate and I would promise to abstain, only to use as soon as I dropped her off at her parents’ house.

I managed to crawl in the dark to huddle over the commode. I rationalized that the vomiting might inspirational stories of sobriety be due to food poisoning. By the morning, I was severely dehydrated and could barely stand.

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There is newer evidence that demonstrates how young Latinx women are drinking as much or even more than young Latinx men. Some people believe that various substances can offer temporary relief for a period of time. They can offer us a mechanism for survival, for managing the pains of existence when we don’t know a more productive way to live, until they ultimately cause us too much harm. And I never felt good enough when I was there (in those days we weren’t, as a culture, discussing college access and supporting first-generation students, the way we do now).

• Soon, I drank daily in isolation, hiding the quantity of my drinking from my wife, secretly replenishing the supply in the liquor cabinet with bottles I hid elsewhere.
• Those who knew of my course were, for the most part, very supportive.
• She didn’t realize how much lying is an integral part of alcoholism.
• I attended daily AA meetings for the first ninety days.

Other students sometimes reminded me of that fact too. Once, a girl on my floor—a blond from Greenwich, Connecticut—stopped me in the laundry room to ask what I thought of affirmative action. I don’t remember what I told her, but I do remember it was the only time she ever spoke with me in the two years I lived in that dorm. My wife had a miscarriage about a year after the birth of our second child. In my mind, we had had enough discussion about our family size, and I proceeded to go ahead with a vasectomy. Our marriage became further strained, as my wife apparently still wanted additional children.

Success Story: An Amazing Journey to Sobriety

I attended daily AA meetings for the first ninety days. Later, I cut back to three to four meetings a week as I returned to taking call at work. At the appropriate time, with the guidance of my sponsor, I was able to make amends to everyone I had harmed, including myself. The first time I got drunk, I was fourteen.

• We laugh at the relatable shame of having to publicly give something another go—even as difficult and momentous as marriage.
• Within a short period of time, harassing the fourth roommate with obnoxious merriment, I was able to convince that non-partying roommate to swap rooms.
• My wife had just delivered our fourth child, and I was distant from my whole family.

I remember the taste going down — and coming up. What a great feeling of belonging I had had — something I had never felt before. Shortly this led to nearly daily drinking or smoking marijuana, which at times was easier to obtain. Despite my increasingly frequent substance use, I excelled as a student. I prided myself on never missing a day of school.